Rain is a funny thing. It changes with your mood. Its playful when you’re happy. It’s melodramatic when you’re sad. It’s foreboding when you’re vulnerable. Recently, I’ve noticed that it’s only soothing when you’re comfortable, and when you’re far away from home in a foreign place surrounded by strangers, all it is is a reminder of what you left behind.
Its been raining for about 7 hours now. I wasn’t surprised; the sky had looked expectant for a few days already. The rain had been bundled up in those murky depths(heights?) and needed to be released. Likewise, my thoughts and feelings have tumbled in my stomach for a while now and now, I’m letting them out.
My voice is begging to be let out as well. The only problem with living in a public dorm is just that – it’s so public. Even on the rare occasion that I return to an empty dorm room, like after lunch when I come back for a quick nap (customary in China), I’m not alone. There is always the possibility that there is someone just on the other side of the wall from me, or out in the hall, or just outside the door. I’m never alone, so I never get a chance to sing. Sure, I can hum a little or even sing a few lines at indoor-voice level, but I want to sing, to really sing. I want to sing my heart out at the top of my lungs. I want to sing where my voice will be heard, if not by anyone else then at least by me. I want my voice to carry, to glide through the air unobstructed, to fill a room or echo in a valley. My voice is like a dark green glass bottle. Usually I bottle up my feelings in this green glass bottle and periodically, like a message in a bottle, release it in the ocean of the shower or an empty room, somewhere where the sound of my feelings in my voice will float back so I can listen to them and understand. But here, the ocean is either so cluttered with other people or other sounds that my bottle gets crushed, or the muggy air sucks the sound right up and my bottle is lost again. So, my feelings can never get very far and instead stay bottled up inside like a lump in my throat.
This constant never alone thing would not be such a big deal if it weren’t for the ironic loneliness that comes with it. I now understand how a person can be surrounded by people, even people he or she knows, yet be completely alone. I talk to people all the time, every day. I made friends right away who eat with me and walk with me and take me shopping on the weekends. But these people aren’t my people. I don’t mean that politically at all, like my country’s people or my race’s people. I mean my people. My family. When I say family, I don’t mean necessarily mean blood relatives. Friends can be as much my family as cousins or siblings. Anyways, what I mean to say is that I miss home. There it is. But only at night when there’s no one to talk to or when it’s raining outside, pitter patter on my window, and I’m thousands of miles away from the people who I love and who love me most.
I guess it’s true what they say; you’ll never know what you have until you have it no longer. Beijing is great, but there’s really no place like home.
What if Beijing were home? That might not be as far from reality as you think. In less than a year, we’re going to have a house in the heart of Beijing and I am so excited. More on that later…
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
O leem pee ka - My first article
At a press conference yesterday, three big managers of the 2008 Beijing Olympics urged the Chinese populace to exhibit their civilized ways by following the “Six Dos and Don’ts” in Olympic host etiquette in the upcoming year before the big Games.
A city-wide competition will be held in an effort to promote understanding of and participation in the Olympic Games. Each district will self-select a celebrity or “superstar” who best exemplifies Chinese respectability and sophistication in accordance to the “Six Dos and Don’ts”. This list includes such advice as “Observe good hygiene standards; don’t spit or litter everywhere” and “Be civilized in the sports arena; don’t scold outright”. Other rules urge citizens to be courteous when driving and conversing, generous with the helpless, and considerate when displaying belongings on balconies.
A photo competition is also being held to promote civilian participation in the upcoming Olympics. Photos that capture examples of commendable civility should be sent to www.beijingto2008.com to be entered in the competition.
A city-wide competition will be held in an effort to promote understanding of and participation in the Olympic Games. Each district will self-select a celebrity or “superstar” who best exemplifies Chinese respectability and sophistication in accordance to the “Six Dos and Don’ts”. This list includes such advice as “Observe good hygiene standards; don’t spit or litter everywhere” and “Be civilized in the sports arena; don’t scold outright”. Other rules urge citizens to be courteous when driving and conversing, generous with the helpless, and considerate when displaying belongings on balconies.
A photo competition is also being held to promote civilian participation in the upcoming Olympics. Photos that capture examples of commendable civility should be sent to www.beijingto2008.com to be entered in the competition.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Back in Beijing
I'm back in 北京at the radio station. It's nice to be back but I still feel pretty useless having nothing to do - not for lack of wanting to do anything but for not being able to do much other than retrieve mail, deliver lunch, and refill tea cups. I think I'll start answering the telephone too and practice my conversational Chinese.
Teaching English to those wonderful kids was so rewarding. I don't know if I was teaching them or if it was the other way around, really. I was trying to teach them all these little, unimportant things like phonics and vocabulary. But while I tried to teach them the difference in pronunciation between a long A and a long I, they were unconsciously teaching me about perserverance, determination, thankfulness, and appreciation, and above all about the will to survive and to achieve their dreams. The students all aspire to climb out of the cycle of poverty through the only means they know: education. Therefore, they study study study despite extreme financial difficulty, sickness, death, and opposition from family members so that they might one day get a good job with their college degree and make something of themselves that's more than just a terrace farmer.
These kids are really not much different than we are, except their future hopes aren't merely for lots of money and a comfortable life after school but also for the chance to bring some of their prosperity back home to their 家乡。They're so thankful for what they have, though it seems so little to us. Furthermore, they don't easily forget those who have helped them. On the last night, each and every kid gave each of us teachers a warm hug to say goodbye. They were all so sad to see us go and many had tears in their eyes or streaming down their faces. But there was also happiness and gratefulness mixed in with the sadness in their tears. They said, thank you so much teacher i really love you promise you'll come again next year? It was so bittersweet and I was so moved. I made up my mind to go to YuanYang again no matter how hard it would be to organize my schedule around it.
The kids had all completely changed. They were so different from the timid, reserved students who sat in my class on the first day. They were silent little note-taking students and now they were more than just students; they were kids too. They were themselves. In my class, for example, I saw a complete metamorphosis. My students smiled more and laughed louder. They said what they thought. Their faces were open and their eyes bright. The boy who was originally the quietest and the most unwilling to participate turned out to be my class clown. My once timid, self-deprecating 吴远芬 who had been too afraid to even look at me when I spoke to her surprised me with the best English pronunciation in the class.
According to the other teachrs, the same metamorphosis occurred in all the classes. At the closing ceremony, the students laughed and cheered uproariously after each of the acts. They especially loved the skits that made fun of themselves or the teachers. They were so happy, so confident. The sun shone from their faces.
I originally thought that it would be so hard to communicate with these students who came from backgrounds so differnet from mine. But after spending a week getting to know them, teaching them and learning from them, I realized that we're all not that different at all. Some people may have more and some may have less, but in the end it's still the same things that make us happy, like nature's beauty, love, and friendship. They helped me realize these intangible precious things through their own heartfelt appreciation for them.
So, to my new friends:
Thank you.
Teaching English to those wonderful kids was so rewarding. I don't know if I was teaching them or if it was the other way around, really. I was trying to teach them all these little, unimportant things like phonics and vocabulary. But while I tried to teach them the difference in pronunciation between a long A and a long I, they were unconsciously teaching me about perserverance, determination, thankfulness, and appreciation, and above all about the will to survive and to achieve their dreams. The students all aspire to climb out of the cycle of poverty through the only means they know: education. Therefore, they study study study despite extreme financial difficulty, sickness, death, and opposition from family members so that they might one day get a good job with their college degree and make something of themselves that's more than just a terrace farmer.
These kids are really not much different than we are, except their future hopes aren't merely for lots of money and a comfortable life after school but also for the chance to bring some of their prosperity back home to their 家乡。They're so thankful for what they have, though it seems so little to us. Furthermore, they don't easily forget those who have helped them. On the last night, each and every kid gave each of us teachers a warm hug to say goodbye. They were all so sad to see us go and many had tears in their eyes or streaming down their faces. But there was also happiness and gratefulness mixed in with the sadness in their tears. They said, thank you so much teacher i really love you promise you'll come again next year? It was so bittersweet and I was so moved. I made up my mind to go to YuanYang again no matter how hard it would be to organize my schedule around it.
The kids had all completely changed. They were so different from the timid, reserved students who sat in my class on the first day. They were silent little note-taking students and now they were more than just students; they were kids too. They were themselves. In my class, for example, I saw a complete metamorphosis. My students smiled more and laughed louder. They said what they thought. Their faces were open and their eyes bright. The boy who was originally the quietest and the most unwilling to participate turned out to be my class clown. My once timid, self-deprecating 吴远芬 who had been too afraid to even look at me when I spoke to her surprised me with the best English pronunciation in the class.
According to the other teachrs, the same metamorphosis occurred in all the classes. At the closing ceremony, the students laughed and cheered uproariously after each of the acts. They especially loved the skits that made fun of themselves or the teachers. They were so happy, so confident. The sun shone from their faces.
I originally thought that it would be so hard to communicate with these students who came from backgrounds so differnet from mine. But after spending a week getting to know them, teaching them and learning from them, I realized that we're all not that different at all. Some people may have more and some may have less, but in the end it's still the same things that make us happy, like nature's beauty, love, and friendship. They helped me realize these intangible precious things through their own heartfelt appreciation for them.
So, to my new friends:
Thank you.
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Mi casa es su casa
The hotel we're staying at is nice - too nice. We went to visit the PEACH kids' homes today, and the difference in living standards is huge. They live in mud plaster boxes, two stories with the cows and pigs in their manure on the ground floor and the family on the second. They live in almost completely darkness, most only have one naked 2-watt lightbulb hanging from the ceiling which they hardly use because then they'd have to pay for the electricity. The best homes had mosquito netting, and only for the one most precious child. The worst were damp and smelly inside, so bad that you'd rather sleep outside with the livestock than inside the house. One boy's house was about to topple, his mother was dead, and his father had a mental illness. We wanted to help him but couldn't because PEACH policy requires that money goes only to kids who go to school, and he'd dropped out to work to support his family and his sister's. I really wish we could do more than just this spot treatment of one poor child at a time. I wish there were some way to bring the whole area out of the cycle of poverty. There isn't much land here available for farming but there is plenty of water and wind and TONS of sun. If we could bring some form of solar power production here it would enable other improvements.
If I had the money I'd build a resort here to take advantage of the beautiful weather and the view and the friendly locals and the miles of undeveloped land. You could put in a zip-line trail and some hiking or horseback riding trails and white water rafting and tubing in the mountain spring creeks. There's so much people could come here for, and the locals would have jobs and money would flow in and the area would blossom economically and all would be well! But bringing education and encouraging the kids to stay in school is a step in the right direction. It's something I can do right now at least. I like to think I'm bringing these kids some happiness and fun and taking them away from their worry-full lives for just a week, like a vacation. We all need a vacation every now and then. These kids haven't had a chance to take one their whole lives.
Have to go eat dinner now. Still can't believe we're staying in such a beautiful, high-class hotel when the children we are spending our days with and who look up to us so much live in little shacks and have to walk through muddy poop everyday just to get to school.
More later..
If I had the money I'd build a resort here to take advantage of the beautiful weather and the view and the friendly locals and the miles of undeveloped land. You could put in a zip-line trail and some hiking or horseback riding trails and white water rafting and tubing in the mountain spring creeks. There's so much people could come here for, and the locals would have jobs and money would flow in and the area would blossom economically and all would be well! But bringing education and encouraging the kids to stay in school is a step in the right direction. It's something I can do right now at least. I like to think I'm bringing these kids some happiness and fun and taking them away from their worry-full lives for just a week, like a vacation. We all need a vacation every now and then. These kids haven't had a chance to take one their whole lives.
Have to go eat dinner now. Still can't believe we're staying in such a beautiful, high-class hotel when the children we are spending our days with and who look up to us so much live in little shacks and have to walk through muddy poop everyday just to get to school.
More later..
Monday, July 2, 2007
Finally, Pictures!
Bicycles are everywhere in Beijing; pouring rain definitely does not stop them.
a beautiful view from my window seat, but I don't know what's below us.
I love the authentic architecture and decorations in 黑龙潭 - the old look, not yet repainted or re-built (even though I'm sure at one point they were repainted, otherwise one of the artwork would be as vibrant as it is now.)
These puppies had just barely opened their eyes and they were already being put out for sale; I wanted to take one home but it'd never get past customs and I've grown fond of the "Nothing to Declare" line..
I think this advertises the toilet or else it's encouraging trouble for whoever has to clean the toilets at your house.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Mamafu's in Kunming
My mom joined me in BJ last night and we, together with Michelle and her dad, went to dinner on the east side of town. This morning we got up at six to catch our 8:20 AM flight to Kunming. We got here around 11 AM and checked into our hotel, which is so quaint and tidy with its little courtyard and calm decor. Our room is small but very comfortable. It's amazing how much one can fit into a small space when one thinks outside the box. The whole bathroom fits snugly into a corner of a the room; no space is left to waste at all. I'll have some pictures up next time.
We lazied our afternoon away, going first to a local park called 黑龙潭 or Black Dragon Pool (cool name right?). There wasn't much to see that we hadn't seen before in China but it was very nicely wooded and not crowded at all. For that reason and because it was so warm and sunny today, I was able to take some great pictures of the old Chinese-style buildings. I really like the not-yet refurnished/restored ancient buildings (unlike at Gu Gong, the Forbidden Palace) because they're more authentic, more real. But I know if they were to not restore the old buildings now, it would soon be too late and the old beauty would be completely lost. I'll put up my pictures tomorrow when I remember to bring my camera cables to the internet cafe.
We had great food today, the famed local Crossing-Bridge Noodles which has a very interesting story behind its name. Supposedly, once upon a time a man hid away on an island in the middle of a huge lake to study for an examination. His wonderful wife brought him lunch everyday by crossing the long bridge to the island, but was upset that the food she brought him was cold by the time she got across the bridge. Then one day she discovered that the chicken soup she brought over was kept hot by the thin layer of oil on top and could fully cook thin slices of meat dropped into it (like Hot Pot). Thus, the noodle dish was born and the name created to go with it.
Good story.
Time for bed.
Pictures tomorrow.
We lazied our afternoon away, going first to a local park called 黑龙潭 or Black Dragon Pool (cool name right?). There wasn't much to see that we hadn't seen before in China but it was very nicely wooded and not crowded at all. For that reason and because it was so warm and sunny today, I was able to take some great pictures of the old Chinese-style buildings. I really like the not-yet refurnished/restored ancient buildings (unlike at Gu Gong, the Forbidden Palace) because they're more authentic, more real. But I know if they were to not restore the old buildings now, it would soon be too late and the old beauty would be completely lost. I'll put up my pictures tomorrow when I remember to bring my camera cables to the internet cafe.
We had great food today, the famed local Crossing-Bridge Noodles which has a very interesting story behind its name. Supposedly, once upon a time a man hid away on an island in the middle of a huge lake to study for an examination. His wonderful wife brought him lunch everyday by crossing the long bridge to the island, but was upset that the food she brought him was cold by the time she got across the bridge. Then one day she discovered that the chicken soup she brought over was kept hot by the thin layer of oil on top and could fully cook thin slices of meat dropped into it (like Hot Pot). Thus, the noodle dish was born and the name created to go with it.
Good story.
Time for bed.
Pictures tomorrow.
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